Is it real or just another crush?

Hi there. 

You should probably know that I find you cute. Although every time you provoke me and tease me, saying that I find you cute, I would altogether deny it. I would just roll my eyes and tell you you’re crazy and you’re so full of yourself but at the same time, I could feel my cheeks blush because I find it hard to deny it. You really are cute. You’re adorkable, even. 

You should also know that I find you smart. Like every time a question forms in my head, I could always turn to you and get answers    I like that you don’t make fun of me for not knowing stuff but instead make it a point that I learn from you. 

I like how at times you make fun of yourself and do not get insecure when I tease you. Because you would always tease me back. I like how easily we fell into this camaraderie and how we do not get awkward around each other. I like that I could be myself when I’m around you. 

The bottom line is, I like you. It’s been a long time since I’ve genuinely liked a boy the way I like you and it stirs this crazy feeling in my chest. I look at you and then you’ll flash me your silly grin and my mind goes blank and my heart starts to race. And sometimes when you’re not looking, I stare at your face and note the strong line of your jaw and the slant of your nose. The way you bite your lips when you’re stressed. The way your eyes squint when you stare at your work for too long. The way you hair falls in front of your face and how I want to brush it away so I can stare at your features a few moments longer. 

I try so hard to make the feeling go away. I see your faults and your flaws and still I chose to stay. But the choice is not really mine to make. For you have a girl, and the girl is not me. 

Your eyes light up when you speak her name. Your deep voice hints at how proud and how lucky you are to be hers. I just hope that she also finds herself lucky to have a guy like you to call hers.