So Close And Still So Far

For most of the first half of my college life, I’ve been with BSA section 8. With the re-sectioning, I was transferred to section 6.

Today was the first day of this semester and while I was on my way to school, everything felt fine. Normal, even. I even met with a few of my former classmates in front of the Dean’s office and had a chat with them. Again, everything felt normal albeit the topics we were discussing. We were talking about different schedules and different professors. It was weird for me because I never really thought that I would discuss that kind of stuff with them.

When it was time for me to go, I went to our designated classroom. When I went in, I was looking for Nikki because she was a former classmate and the only person I know in that class. Unfortunately, she wasn’t there. On that realization, I was hit by a bunch of nerves. That was when everything struck and I was like, “Oh my god, what’s happening to me? Why are my hands shaking? Oh my god.”

I was actually just standing there in front and my classmates were starting to notice me but then I acted quickly and sat on the chair near the table since it was vacant. Plus no one was there yet. I felt lonely and I missed my former classmates so I texted a few of them (with shaking hands) and I was so glad that they replied with words of encouragement. It would be nice if they were physically there, though.

Good thing Yashi came and sat by me through the whole hour until we got tired of waiting for our professor and went to grab our lunch. We ate with Jonna and Jelly and the two of them shared stuff that their professor said to them. While we were there, I missed my other friends. When will we eat lunch together again? When will we see each other with all of us in attendance?

Trishia, Rio, Liezel, Mika, Jonna, Yashi, Jelly, Alfie, and Cha are my closest friends from our class. I know that they will always be close by and at the same time still too far. It will not be the same anymore… I just… I miss them. I haven’t gone a whole day with my new section yet and still I cry at the thought that this is it for us. We’ll make new set of friends and see and text each other once in a while… But that’s it. It scares me because I know how these kind of relationship ends. You may be the best of friends now but after some time, they will become distant without you even knowing it and poof… They’re gone. It has happened before. It’s likely to happen again.

That’s the truth. I’m scared. Scared of losing the friends I’ve made. I don’t want to contemplate much on it, though…

Let’s just see what this semester will bring.


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