I miss my family.
Not that I’m staying far away from them. They’re physically present but I miss the togetherness. Or maybe I’m the one who’s not in it. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this exactly but I think I’m kind of transitioning.
I’m transitioning in the way that I think I don’t want to be dependent on my parents anymore but since I am not really required to fend for myself, that’s the only way I could be right now. Dependent. Deep down, I feel that I should start standing on my own two feet but have no means of doing so because I feel like I’m not yet competent in the outside world. I’ve been in the comfort and shelter of my parents for far too long and the idea of getting out frankly scares me.
I know that in a couple of years, that will be the case. I have to act like a grown up and start owning up to my responsiblities. To be independent. But right now, I need to bask in the dependency I have on them. I’m still young and foolish. There’s no way around that. My parents have had enough of my rebellious youth and unending foolishness but they still hold firm. They never wanted me to leave the house. They are too overprotective for their own good. And I love them for that. Others may want to be independent at my age (which is 18, by the way) but I want t hold on to this. Because someday I won’t depend that much on them anymore. So while I can still sweeten them up when I want to have something, I’m gonna do it. But like all the other buttering-ups, it will be hard work.
Anyway, I need to plan for activities for next weekend. My family needs a good bonding time. I think Monster’s University might be a good icebreaker.